


for the better.

by copper_nv



Category: Kindergarten (Video Game 2017)
Genre: 1/3 of the story is just cussing, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Explicit Language, Other, hes salty, kids a little bit of an asshole im sorry, ooohhh this is so self-indulgent HAHAHAHA, sorry not sorry!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-18 19:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20317900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copper_nv/pseuds/copper_nv
Summary: Applesoft thanks for you your service.





	for the better.

Full Name: Naomi Reese Matthews  
Age: 13  
Sex: Female  
Current Location: 19380 Addams St, Albany Park 60625  
Occupation: Student  
Description: Black hair, green eyes, tan skin, 4'11"

Request: Don't let the murder be reported.

Could these assholes really get anymore specific than this? THEY'RE PROFESSIONALS. It can't be that fucking damn hard to find out information about a little girl of a politician. What the hell do you mean don't let the murder be reported? Isn't that something he should always aim for? He sighed, combing his hair with his hands. Fuck this little stupid bitch ass job that doesn't even fucking pay that fucking well-

Calm down. Repress your shitty, rude-ass thoughts, you little salty bitch. He groaned, leaning back onto his airplane seat, almost bumping his elbow against an elderly lady. Not even first-class, huh? He **KILLS** people for a living, and Applesoft, one of the most successful companies in the DAMN planet, can't afford to put their personal MURDERER in first-class?

Fuck you, Felix. Eat shit.

"Don't even know why I'm working for you, you little cunt," He darkly muttered under his breath. The two people setting next to him gave him a look of either terror or pity. Keep your head straight and keep proofreading that essay you promised Teddy that you would read for him. The essay had 'the word count was set at a mandatory 5000 so I'm trying to use filler words so I can get this over with' written all over it. Relatable, but your asshole of a dad won't fund your education if you keep writing shit like this, Teddy. It took about five years for Teddy and Felix to convince their parents to send Teddy to a music school. Only the best of the best though, so they sent him to Curtis Institute of Music, aka the best music school in America, where it has only fucking _4%_ acceptance rate.

Lots of strings were pulled, if you catch my drift.

"Attention please," the captain's voice came through the speakers, "we will be landing in about twenty minutes, at 9:38 A.M. Please take your seat and fasten your seat belt. Thank you for flying with United Airlines. Have a wonderful trip, and stay safe." Haha, not today, prick. Fuck you, drop dead.

He added some more comments to their shared document. "Looks like peak shit, did you even try on this, Ted?" he mumbled. Cue more terrified/pitied looks. His scowl deepened, and quickly went back to writing some more until the plane hit the ground. (not literally, but he sure wished he was fucking dead) He stood up and took his luggage out, and left the airport. There are more steps to that, yeah, but who cares?"Good day," the chauffeur greeted him, opening the car door to let him in. At least Felix had the decency to give him a ride. Imagine if he had to go around running and calling Ubers to get fucking anywhere. What a nightmare.

Still wanted a first-class seat, though.

"Where are we heading to, sir?" The man asked him. Shit, was this dude even in on the plan? Fuck it. Don't take the risk. If he is in on it, Felix would call him an idiot and various other synonyms at most, but who's getting his hands bloodied here? Yeah, this prick. Not you, you shitty little Huxley stereotypical rich boy lookin ass... oh, right.

"To this hotel, please," he said, watching the chauffeur put in the location. He buried his face in his hands, and starting to wonder why he even started killing people in the first place.

Oh yeah, something about it being for the greater good. Not that he trusts Felix's word at all, for y'know, obvious reasons. He was about 63% certain that it was just to destroy threats and any competition. Well, he's not really certain if some dude in Iceland would really pose that big of a threat to Applesoft, but who knows. Felix's mind is a different place. Probably a fucking sociopath, if we're being honest here. But he IS going around stabbing people, so he can't really say much about that. It takes a general state of apathy to do this. Emotions are worth jackshit in this field of job.

The chauffeur cleared his throat, "Sir, we've arrived." He then realized he's most likely been spacing out for a good forty minutes and the dude was trying to get his attention for a least one-fourth of that. You'd _think_ that being a hitman would take some level of focus and awareness, but fuck me silly. 

"Thank you." He made sure to tip him, because this dude probably isn't getting paid enough. Also Felix ranted at him about tip culture after they left some posh, fancy restaurant and it was a horrible experience.

Never again.

**Never.**

He got the keys from the receptionist who looked like she wanted to die, and headed into his room. He rummaged his bag for his phone, and made a phone call to a familiar friend. Well not really friend, but same thing.

"Sup," a voice crackled over the phone, "you've arrived?" 

"No. I'm in the middle of the fucking ocean. Help. I'm drowning," he rubbed his forehead irritably, "it's not like you have a tracker and listening voice on me to make sure I don't rat you and Applesoft out, or anything. 'Cause I'm working a totally normal and average nine-to-five job, hacker bitch." 

"Wow, you actually addressed me instead of just using 'Applesoft'. Well, we can work on the whole salty bitch thing, but I think we're making progress on our budding friendship. By the time you're out of here, we're gonna be best friends. So I'll start; my favorite food is-"

"Cut the shit." 

"Ooh, the room just got colder. Gonna kill me over the phone, pretty boy? Ahem, anyyyyyways, I've managed to get ahold of the security system. You should be able to access it. I'm pretty great, I know, I kno-" He hung up on the cocky motherfucker. He turned on his laptop, and started to look through the cameras. His phone started buzzing, and he set it aside just to make Monty suffer a little longer. You got a week to do this, asshole, don't fuck it up.

-

After a vigorous four days of memorizing everyone's schedules whom had access to the Matthew's household, the cooks, the nanny, the guards, the parents, friends, Naomi herself, it was game time. Luckily the cameras had audio and color, which made his life so much easier. Naomi was going out with her friends at sometime around 11:30. Thank god that she liked to talk over the phone. Not that it mattered too much though, there would be other people watching her. It would be really stupid if Felix just sent one guy. Hopefully they do stupid kid shit and go into a forest, alone, or something like that. Made a lot of jobs a lot more convenient. 

"Alright, you ready, bestie?" Monty asked through his earbuds. Look casual- don't stand out or else you'll look like a pedophile because you're stalking little girls. Then you'll get arrested, and then you're going have to rot in prison and hopefully don't get beat the shit out of, if the rumors at kiddie-fiddlers aren't treated too well are true. People are usually way less sneakier than they think they are, and also it's way too dangerous to bust someone out, even if they're the most competent person. He was donning a plain white shirt and black jeans. Also had a backpack with a spare change of clothes, cause y'know. Killing someone. 

"Don't call me that ever again."

"Best friend! Anyways, she's about to leave soon. Your Uber is coming. We'll drop you off nearby and then you can do your weird stalking shit or whatever. Once you're done murdering a poor, innocent thirteen-year old we'll send some guys to dispose of her body. You're being followed everywhere you go, just saying, so don't do anything you'll regret!" Monty muted the call. He sighed, straightened his shirt, and climbed into the car. Monty did specify that it was an Uber, so it was most likely not one of Felix's men. Which is fucking stupid, just rent out a car and then you can discuss your evil murder plans with your accomplices.

"Soo, what are you doin' over there?" the driver questioned.

Oh fuck, is this chick a FBI agent or something?

"I'm touring the place, I guess. Don't really wanna hit up the touristy areas until dark, cause hopefully there will be less people takin' pics or whatever." He made sure to retain his posture. Don't give any hints that you're lying, which should be common sense to know that. Especially because you're a professional murderer.

"Huh. Good plan. Where you are going later?" What are you, a cop? He almost sputtered out.

"Parks n' crap, since it is dark and everything's pretty much shut down."

"I see."

Cue the awkward and unbearable silence. It was obvious that this girl wanted to talk, but she was probably getting the distressed signals that he really didn't want to talk right now. The rest of the drive was silent, much to his pleasure.

"Okay, so here we are! Make sure to rate me five stars!" Oh my god. Desperate motherfucker. While he can't confirm if begging someone to rate you five stars is a good strategy or not, it really annoyed the everloving shit out of him. God. Just shut the fuck up, and maybe you'll get your holy, blessed five stars. Bitch.

"Heyoo! Bestie!" A girl with dark-hair suddenly grabbed his sleeve, and he yelped. What the fuck? Monty never mentioned this. That's one more thing to add to the ever growing list of 'Things to Kill Monty Over'. Hopefully Felix will approve of it, and then he can fulfill his lifelong dream.

"Name's Carla," she said in a low and hushed voice, "nice to meet you. Anyways, we're pretending to go on a date or something to blend in easier. Actually, scratch that date part. Boys are fuckin' nasty. Lesbian pride, n' shit, no offense. Our target just arrived a few seconds before you got here. Great timing there, bucko."

She dragged them to the cafe, where Naomi would be meeting her friends at, if all goes to plan. Maybe a few of the people coming would flake out, hopefully. But knowing his luck, they'll probably show up with more people and throw a party. Because karma or something like that. But if karma really existed, he would most likely be in prison by now. 

He'll ask Felix for him to be transferred to one of those prisons that are basically just an apartment room.

All the five of her friends she asked to come arrived at the cafe. Perfect. Just perfect. At least they didn't bring a dog. They are absolutely vicious, and will chase after you if they're scared enough. And you probably won't outspeed it, then you'll have to put it down so you don't get bit. And pretty much everyone he knew, even the grand motherfucker of all motherfuckers himself, Felix Huxley, heir of Applesoft himself, prefer to not do that, if possible. If you like killing animals, then you're worse than actual murderers. Just remember that, bitches.

They followed them when they left to go to some stupid ass museum to look at abstract art or something. He could probably do all of these paintings if you just get him wasted and give him the necessary supplies. They're like your crappy doodles and scribbles from kindergarten, but you just smacked it with a label that said 'fancy'. Are all rich kids this boring? Felix is just business outside of the killing thing and Teddy is a hot mess majority of the time so no actual personality yet. Go see a movie or something, sheesh. But each to their own. 

Then they sneaked off somewhere.

In peak stupid children fashion, they actually sneaked into some abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Which was pretty great, actually. No cameras to worry about, no witnesses if you're sneaky enough or you just kill everyone, it's great. The client didn't want it to be reported so-

-he fired six bullets. They didn't miss.

**Author's Note:**

> hoohoo! man do i love my boys. also i've never flown united airlines so forgive me if they say "gucci gang" or smthng over the speakers. can you tell how tech illiterate i am? also im 90% certain i used that semicolon wrong.


End file.
